FArts

I've been scouring Craig's List today, trying to find ways to supplement my rock and roll lifestyle (currently consisting of paying rent and some heating bills). I ended up in the 'creative gigs' section only to find that everyone wants free arts, or as I'm now dubbing it, FArts. Photographers, take a look at this generous offer:

"IM A MALE 80S FASHION MODEL AND LOOKING FOR A PHOTOGRAPHER..AND ALSO SOMEONE THAT CAN BE A PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHER FOR ME AND MY RETRO 80S CREW....ONLY BUSINESS... P.S.This isnt a paying ad " -

God only knows what our creepster was thinking when he mentioned 'ONLY BUSINESS'. But before you photographers go raising your fists in the air, have a look at this benevolent happy snapper:

"Photographer is seeking lifestyle models of all ages for a photoshoot {Think high end Tiffany style but for a bakery} Please send face and FULL body photos....with stats

This is a non paying gig... but you will get your pictures on a cd after a waiver is signed allowing our company full rights to use your pictures."

It tickled me that the up-side of not getting paid was that you lose all your rights! Brilliant way to turn a negative in to a positive (excuse the photography pun).

Are you a dancer? Then look no further:

"NEED FEMALE & MALE DANCERS 4 SAT 26th night - NEED DANCERSSS!!!!! ASAP ITS NOT PAIDED"

Paided? I'm hoping our friend is saving his money for a dictionary.

Perhaps you've been studying at the Fashion Institute for a few years, and you're looking for some design work? Could this be your dream job?:

"I need T-Shirts for cool designs(No Pay-But you get credit)"

I don't even want to get started on the lack of paying gigs for musicians, though I know musicians can be the worst when it comes to paying photographers, directors, engineers etc. And by all means, build up your modelling portfolio! Get some photography experience! Play free shows and make new fans! But don't let people take advantage of you and your craft.

The only way this will stop is when we realise our worth and refuse to give people everything for nothing. Trade some services and make a deal, but let's say no to FArts!

Elliott Smith & Christmas Radio

I'm about ready to do a van Gogh on my ears after 5 days of Christmas radio - thank you Elliott Smith for being on my iPod. It wasn't always like this though..

I met a girl in Boston a few years ago, she asked if I liked Elliott Smith, and I said I didn't know. She made me sit in front of her computer until we'd listened through one of Elliott's records on her PC speakers. I was drunk on cheap whiskey and forgot most of this event, though later that month I got my hands on Elliott Smith's 'From a Basement on the Hill', and disliked nearly all of it. I'm in the process of inventing a time machine so I can visit my former self and knock some sense in to my thick, juvenile ears.

A couple of months ago I picked up Figure 8 from Nicole's iPod, and I've been feeding myself small doses of Smith since. I couldn't believe I'd never liked these songs before, and now I'm downloading XO, having put New Moon and Either Or on repeat for a month. I came home to London last week and played Speed Trials while walking through the snow. I had one of those moments where your iPod becomes the soundtrack to your bland day-to-day life, and for a moment it's awesome. Then you realise you're that dick with the iPod who thinks its the soundtrack to his life.

For all you MP3 fans, please check out my new record 'The Matador & The Acrobat" on iTunes!

Or feel free to continue the vinyl revolution.

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Adventures from the Internet

This is funny on at least 2 levels..

Day 6: Mecersburg, PA - Flannery's Tavern

Woke up in Philly with the excitement of knowing I'd be in Mercersburg by day's end. Nobody knows where Mercersburg is. You might never hear of it again after reading about it in this blog. However, it is probably the most exciting leg of the tour. Flannery's Tavern is the local pub & restaurant, run by local legend, John Flannery. We play the show with our friends 'The Hello Strangers', and proceed to get hammered with half of Mercersburg. Thanks to Nate Fochtman for this video of 'Bullets':



What then followed still spooks me out, as John Flannery took us on a tour of the Tavern, built in 1809:

Day 5: Philadelphia, The Fire

Last night we split a hotel room. I woke up without the separation of a clean sheet between my skin and the blanket; feeling dirty I ran in to the shower Ace Ventura style. We took a short drive from DC to Philadelphia. Philly is one of my favorite cities, and I don't know why. It reminds me of home a bit I think, particularly the small streets. We pulled up outside our venue 'The Fire', pretty close to Temple University, and found West Girard Street looking a little deserted. There were a bunch of faces I hadn't seen for a couple of years, and the odd new face; I met a guy called Jeremy on my way in, though his stage name is J-Money. A few handshakes and hellos later I made my way to the bar for a couple of whiskeys. I could feel a cold coming on and decided to take Kyle's advice about whiskey killing off sinus diseases - I like taking Kyle's advice. Mixed in with a couple of tylenol PMs and Airbornes it seemed to do the trick. Chris' & Clayon's bet was still on.



---On the road update: Tim is playing air drums to Miles Davis tunes right now. We just decided we're going to make a short horror movie. It consists of Timur (playing himself) being chased by a doppelganger (also played by Timur). Here's a rough screenplay:

Scene 1: Timur is playing drums in a venue and looks up to find a menacing version of himself staring (menacingly) at himself. Timur starts running, out of the venue, through Pennsylvania, Ohio, Illinois, Indianapolis and Tennessee.

Final Scene: Timur's doppelganger finally catches up to Timur in Nashville. Though, quick on his feet, Timur runs the length of Tennessee, Virginia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Maryland, Pennsylvania and New York to foil his doppelgangers unknown, and undoubtedly evil plot.

Kyle's Alternative ending: Timur doesn't escape his doppelganger and is slain. ----

After the show we decided to raise our cholesterol levels (a la Chyze) by going to Geno's Philly Cheesesteak diner. We piled about 13 of us in the van, and stuffed our faces with cow product. I found a healthy puddle of cheese grease had saturated its way through my jeans. I don't have a spare pair. In fact, I have seriously underpacked. I have 2 pairs of socks. Last night we stayed at our newly-ish wed friends Lydnsey and John's. Awesome people. My tylenol PM's kicked in pretty fast as I told myself again that Philly is still one of my favorite cities.

Tour Days 3 & 4: Burlington VT, Providence RI, Washington DC

So now we're in an 18ft long van for the next two weeks. It's like being Bowser on Mario Kart. I'm stealing WiFi from the Bolt Bus riding alongside us. This is awesome.

We just played a show last night in Burlington, VT, at a venue called 'Nectars'. This venue gave Phish their start back in the day, and by the reminents of tie-dye t-shirts and hemp clothing stores, it looks like the spirit is living on. Everyone has great beards in Burlington. I was slightly ashamed I had been trimming mine, feeling mildly metrosexual. Upon our arrival we made our way down to the Nectar's 'green room' to find a small room with yellow walls and a plethora of penis graffiti. The most creative one had claws and wings.

After a few songs on stage and some banter with the local drunk we made way for Justin Levinson's CD Release performance. Clayton however, with a belly full of Jaegemeister and Magic Hat ran upstairs to find a '90's night' themed disco. He flirted with the locals for a while then ran down as we were packing up, with a schoolboy grin on his face, asking for just 5 more minutes of "dancing time", and off he went again.



We woke up this morning with a mission to get to Providence by 5PM to pre-record some songs for WRIU 90.3FM (Rhode Island University radio). Our friend and DJ, Kate was there to meet us, as our van 'Sheena' plowed through a monsoon. Slightly sodden we grabbed a cheeky curry on campus, and played our set in the studio (a few BPM slower thanks to the tikka masala).

Clayton's driving now, we're on our way back to NYC. We just passed a white Mercedes with a fake-diamond encrusted number plate. The driver had been pulled over for speeding, shockingly.

(Day 4) Chris just made a $20 bet with Clayton, that Clayton wouldn't 'get any ass' on the tour. Clayton accepted. The rest of us are happy to be spectators. The sun is setting over Maryland, and we're on our way to Washington DC. The last time I was in DC I was singing backing vocals to country songs on a float in the 4th July Parade. I enjoyed the irony of being a Brit celebrating my own country's expulsion from America. The time before that, I was marching the exact same route protesting a war. Tonight we're playing with Kyle's girlfriend, Ayo Awosika at The Velvet Lounge. Ayo is a wonderful human being, and her music is just as stellar. Weezer's 'Pinkerton' is playing in the background. Everyone knows the words. I don't - I only have the Blue album; feeling left out I've started blogging again. I remember Chris and Clayton's bet again and I'm happy. Timur is trying to teach himself Ukulele, to the tune Bob Dylan's 'Girl from the North Country'. He says 'I'll never be able to learn this by Nashville!', and sounds genuinely upset. We're approaching a tunnel and decided to scream until we get out of it. My ears are still ringing, though I'm slightly impressed by the lads' falsettos.

We got to the Velvet Lounge to find that it was neither a lounge, nor was it velvetty. The venue is up a few stairs, and consists of a room and a slightly raised stage. I love these kind of venues, just an audience and the music. Downstairs, one of the guys behind the bar started shining a light in Clayton's face and laughing. Nobody knows why...

We played the show and got some rest. Chris's $20 is still safe.

The Deli NYC's Band of the Month

Just been nominated for The Deli NYC's Band of the Month! If you want to help out please click here and vote, thanks guys!

Tour Day 2: New York City, NY - The Living Room

After our Fung Wah excursion, Clayton and I headed down to the Living Room to meet up with the rest of the band for a sound check. Still convinced of my swine-flu status I stocked up on honey, lemon & tea concoctions throughout.. The act after us had cancelled so Kyle James Hauser (banjo) played a few tunes of his own before we joined him for our set. I haven't heard Kyle do that for months, if not years - mostly because he is based out of Colorado now. It reminded of a summer 2 years ago when we hung out daily in Boston. We'd have arts & crafts days at his apartment, followed by lengthy guitar hero sessions. They usually resulted in sprained fingers and sour faces as we failed for the 10th time at 'Freebird' on Professional mode. Kyle's moving to NYC next year.. just in time for Guitar Hero V.


Timur (Drums), Chris (Bass) and myself are all based out of New York, so The Living Room was filled with all our New York friends and family, so great to get to play for them. There were a couple of surprise appearances, including my old room-mate and Nashville based songwriter Jesse Ruben. Hopefully we'll see him again on the Nashville leg of the tour.

Abby Lichtman did some beautiful illustrations for a lyric book we've just published to go with 'The Matador & The Acrobat'; so she hung some of the prints on the wall in the bar area.

--- I'm in the van right now with Clayton. We're on the return leg from Lancaster, PA to NYC. My cell phone (and hence GPS) has run out of battery and we both need the bathroom, listening to Alison Krauss' and Robert Plant's record. It's almost good enough to make me forget I need the bathroom and that we are lost. Almost.---

After the Living Room show we piled 5 of us in a cab back to Brooklyn, much to the disgust of the cab driver who made sure we knew that it was '4 maximum' and he was doing us a 'huge favor'. I hate cab drivers in New York. None of them know where they are going, and they want a tip for the privilege of asking you how to get where you're going. I really need a bike. Though I'll probably end up getting hit by a taxt then.
Passed out almost immediately when we got home. Next stop Vermont for Justin Levinson's CD Release. We've planned this tour all wrong! New York to Boston, back to New York, then to Lancaster PA, back to New York and now Vermont? So much for that GSCE in Geography.

---We just stopped off at Burger King where I had a whopper with cheese. I used to be a vegetarian. Those were the days when I remembered how little meat needed to be in meat for it to count as 'meat'. I was eating sausages while watching BBC America once - a show called 'You Are What You Eat' came on as I was taking my second bite of Jambalaya Mix & Sausages, when a woman announced 'Sausages only need to have 40% actual meat. The rest is eyeballs, guts and trotters.' I picked at the rice for a bit then put it down. I'm glad I forgot all that as I sunk my teeth in to second Whopper in as many days. There's not many foods where you can think 'Yum' while also thinking 'That was gross.' Congratulations Whopper.---

Tour Day 1: Boston MA, Cafe 939

In an effort to jazz up my blog I've decided to actually post some blog entries..


We just started a two week tour. Starting in Boston, zig-zagging around New England, and finding ourselves as far west as Chicago and as far south as Nashville.. I'm currently sat on an unsettlingly wobbly bus on my way to pick up the tour-van from Lancaster PA. I'm pretty sure if we hit a bump larger than an acorn the bus would break.

Clayton (our violinist/fiddler) is sitting next to me reading an article about jet lag. I think he is getting a little excited for our brief excursion in to 'Central Time' next week.



Two nights ago we went back to Boston to Cafe 939's 'Red Room'.. it was the first night of our record release tour for 'The Matador & The Acrobat'. There was the usual last minute dash in to Daddy's Junky Music (& Unfriendly People), the 'should you really have a curry before the show?' argument, and Chris's impression of a Boston accent to the words 'Norm here's laying down all the hardwood floors'.. Yup, we were definitely in Boston. I love it. I have great memories of Boston, and plenty of times I don't remember what happened but I know it was a good time.

The doors opened and our friend Jonny Nicholson opened up the night with some beautiful tunes, including a tasty little number on an accordion. I found out his dad's a fellow Englishman from a place called Devon - I've been going to Devon since I was in nappies, so for the umpteenth time this week I thought 'small world'.. though for some reason that phrase isn't coming to mind on our current three hour excursion from NYC to Lancaster PA..


We hopped up on stage and cranked out a slightly rustier version of our set to a room of fantastic and familiar faces. I'm not sure if it's the 'all ages' or 'no booze' policy at Cafe 939, but the audience is always wonderfully receptive. What a treat for our first night of the tour! Then I think I have swine flu (though it's obviously a cold) so the show was followed by my hypochondriacal efforts to stuff myself with as much complimentary, backstage melon as possible. I just remembered Mitch Hedberg's joke about cantaloupe melon. Ha. Then it was down to a duo version of Nashville-based band, 'The Coal Men' to close the night. Really lovely stuff.




--- NYC to Lancaster bus ride - Clayton is asleep after a lunch consisting of 'Cheez-Its and Canada Dry'. Before he nodded off, he noted 'oh, there's no partially hydrogenated oils in Cheez-Its'. He's just got up and moved to two spare seats behind a man who appears to be writing a book about plumbing.---



Kyle, Tim and Chris ventured back to Boston that night. Clayton and I stayed in beantown in an effort to catch up on sleep. Such fools! We had to get up so early to make our bus to New York that it probably wasn't worth it. Yes, 'The Fung Wah': $15 from Chinatown Boston, to Chinatown New York. I heard they used to give you a complimentary soup as you boarded.. now they just give you a complimentary scowl. 2 hours in to the journey you get dropped off at McDonalds for lunch. It's a quick 10 minute inhalation of very-hydrogenated oils (Clayton would not be pleased), then it's back on the bus to eavesrop on someone else's cell-phone conversation in an undistinguishable language.



On our arrival in to New York we noticed a cement truck had crashed in to the Fung Wah ticket office. I slowly left the scene thinking about how many hours I had spent waiting for a bus there.

---NYC to Lancaster Bus update - nearly there. wow I'm bored. Just noticed I'd been sitting on a Cheez-It for the last hour.---

Rockwood Music Hall 10.8.09

desert island discs..

'swell'

Musical Chairs in NYC..

For Pete's sake..

Thanks to Pete Francis for letting us support him at Cafe 939's Red Room last Friday!

Pete used to be in a band called Dispatch and now has his own awesome solo career.

Check it out here: http://www.petefrancis.com/

"Get a real job."

Next Saturday..

Sleeperstar / Canal Room 9.1.09

A couple of weeks ago I did a co-write with Chris Pearson of Dallas based band, SLEEPERSTAR (myspace.com/sleeperstar). The writing was great and he kindly asked us to share the bill with him at Canal Room in NYC on Tuesday September 1st '09 @ 8PM. Please come out and make them feel welcome in New York! I think your going to be hearing a lot from them in the future..

Tuesday September 1st 2009 @ Canal Room, NYC:
8PM - Tom LoSchiavo (myspace.com/tomloschiavo)
9PM - Sleeperstar (myspace.com/sleeperstar)
10PM - Will Knox (myspace.com/willknoxmusic)

Click here for a map to Canal Room!

Rockwood Music Hall - August 2nd 2009

Trio

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